Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance
It’s been a real struggle to articulate how devastating this episode was this week, especially with the blasting wave of fandom anger that swept over every twitter feed and Facebook page I frequent. Everywhere I looked there were all the stages of grief, with anger being the most prominent and acceptance not even a close possibility.
It’s fairly stunning to me that after 10 years on TV that this show has the capacity to elicit such strong, often overpowering emotions in so many people.
Our favorite geek girl, Charlie Bradbury is dead.
I actually HATE writing that! HATE IT! I’m teetering somewhere between denial and acceptance. I still don’t want to believe it – even 6 days later, that one of my favorite characters on Supernatural is no longer alive. I immediately clung to the hope that no, there’s got to be some sort of miracle in the making here. She can’t really be dead. She can’t have been killed like that. Please, just no. I’ve looked at the widely circulated gif of the promo for The Prisoner, 10.22 coming up this week, and have seen the same thing that a lot of people have seen – a girl with dark hair of unknown color, dressed very much like Charlie, collapsing on the floor. I latched onto that brief visual in hope that maybe, maybe somehow Charlie is saved. Cas is an angel, right? Surely he can save her.
But the debate over whether he can or not has also raged and now, after all the previews for the next episode have aired (with the exception of the Producer’s preview by Carver), it’s really looking like I have to set my denial aside, get through the anger, stop bargaining with the powers that be who aren’t going to hear me anyway, mourn her loss and accept that this happened for a reason. Figuring out that reason is going to take a while, Show. A pretty long while. But I trust you – still.
No matter what though – I do know one thing for certain:
Charlie died a hero. She died for someone she looked on as a brother, who she loved, who she looked up to. She died for Dean Winchester, trying to save him. She died for what and who she believed in – the Winchesters. Sam and Dean. They were the family she never had.
But still I keep hoping I’ll have to rewrite this after this week’s episode and gleefully say oh wait – they pulled one over on us. Charlie lives!
Back and forth I go, struggling between denial and despair. There is always hope though, because this is Supernatural and they have shown us time and time again that death doesn’t always mean goodbye.
Only 2 episodes to go, the Prisoner and the finale My Brother’s Keeper. In true Supernatural fashion they’ve got us all on pins and needles, scared for every single person we care about and even the ones we don’t, awaiting their fate.
Will Sam give up? Will Dean be so filled with anger that the Mark finally takes him? Can either of them come back from this horror? Who will live and who will die? I know one thing for sure – I’ll be glued to my TV set both nights, eagerly waiting to have my heart ripped out.
Oh this show.